Body Image: My Story – The Good, the Bad, and, of course, the Ugly (pt. 1)

May 25, 2018May 17, 2021 Erica2 Comments

Can you remember when you first realized that what you looked like mattered? Or when you first became aware that people are quick to judge someone based on how they look? How old were you? When was the first time you ever felt self-conscious about your physical appearance?

I say “when” and not “if” because I think this is something everyone has gone through or struggles with at one time or another. Or perhaps all the time.

I would say it happened for me around 6th or 7th grade, you know, the junior high years. Weren’t those just the best?

FullSizeRender (14) — Here’s an awkward junior high picture of me when I was in 7th grade and visited Japan.

One of my first memories of starting to question if I was pretty enough happened while I was with my best friend from school at the time. We were in my room and I told her that I thought I could be considered attractive – and she burst out laughing, like, fall over on the floor laughing. This was my BEST friend mind you…

Another time at school, we had taken school pictures and our photos were getting passed back to us. I got mine in the envelope that has the clear plastic on it so you can see the photo underneath. And the girl sitting behind me yelled, “oh my gosh, RETAKE!,” while pointing at my picture. And you know what, I did get retakes. All because one person had made fun of how I looked.

I’m sure you all have stories from your childhood like this that you could share. It’s so sad for me to think about because I know how much it hurt at the time. And I was so young, maybe 10 or 11. My son is almost 2 years old, so how many more years does he have before he experiences something like this? How long can I protect him from the false idea that appearance matters? And not only that it matters, but that it’s what gives a person value?

No One Cares About Your Blog

May 11, 2018March 22, 2020 Erica3 Comments

Wow… a bit harsh, right?

Let’s be honest: when you see a friend who posts on Facebook that they’ve just started a blog, what are your first thoughts?

A. Yay, I can’t wait to read it!

B. Yeah, yeah, whatever, we’ve all got a really super special blog that everyone should read…

I’ll admit – sometimes my answer is ‘B’ more often than ‘A.’

I’m not just trying to rag on your blog… this is a look in the mirror for me too, or at least, an honest look at my stats.

To be honest with you, I don’t have that many readers. I have a set number in my head of readers that will make me feel like my post was a “success,” and anything below kind of makes me feel like, “what was the point?” Are you other bloggers like that?

It is kind of sad when you take the time to thoughtfully (or perhaps even not-so-thoughtfully) write out something and no one reads it. Maybe for you, your post represented an epiphany you had, and you wanted to share that with the world.

Maybe you had a horrible, gut-wrenching experience that you want to share with the world – not because you want to brag about it, or make people feel sorry for you, but to give that experience new meaning in your life – to take that horrible event and give it a purpose. Maybe you want your story to inspire or help someone else, and blogging is the way you share that with others.

Maybe blogging is a way to just write – to write out your feelings and thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams… and maybe you hope that someone, anyone out there, will read it and feel the same way you do. Maybe you just want one person to connect with, to tell you you’re not crazy and that they understand what you’re going through.

In general, I want to avoid blogging just to get readers. Don’t get me wrong, I love having readers and reading the comments people leave me… but I don’t want to get to the point where I write just for the stats alone. Because if I did that, I’d probably stop writing. Or my writing wouldn’t be “me” anymore – I’d lose my authenticity just for higher numbers.

Unless you’re a blogging superstar (and yes, I’ll admit, I’m a bit jealous…), not everything you write is going to have hundreds of readers. And just because something doesn’t have a lot of readers, doesn’t mean it is garbage. It’s easy to look at success or failure through popularity. I have to remind myself that even if no one reads my blog, I still benefit from writing it. I get a chance to think deeply about issues that matter to me, and challenge myself to be a better person. I get a chance to sort through my emotions and feel better by the time I hit “Publish.”

If you are someone that did read this post, I thank you. Whether you are the only person or the 10,000th person who read this post, thanks for reading. I know I just went on about how it doesn’t matter if I get any readers, but that doesn’t take away the fact that it still feels good to have people read what I write. It’s very honoring to know that people took time from their busy lives to read something that I wrote.

Because if we’re honest, we don’t like to give up our time for others. Or is that just me? A lot of the time, we’re too busy to make time for others. I’m too busy writing my own blog posts to read the ones that you have just finished writing. I’m too busy trying to be heard to take time to listen.

So – where does that leave us… or me, for that matter? If you’ve made it this far into this post, obviously you are a person who’s willing to make time for others. You’ve made time for me, and I’m honored that you did. Maybe you’re a lot more selfless than I am. Maybe I need to be more like you, and read the thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams of others around me.

Alright, well, this post took an unexpected turn and I think I’ll leave it at that.

Anyone want to recommend some new blogs for me to read?

Good times

March 1, 2018March 22, 2020 EricaLeave a comment

My blog is typically a place where I write to share my feelings, and a lot of times those feelings are intense because many times I write when I am under stress. Writing helps me cope and share and be real, which I think is important.

But I also wanted to take time to share many of the positive and wonderful things about my life, because there are plenty of those, too.

So here are some good and happy things that have happened in the past few weeks. Enjoy!