Category: self-awareness

pineapples, one with sunglasses

My Word for 2024: UNABASHED

EricaLeave a comment

The Grammys happened a few days ago, and while I didn’t follow it super closely, I was curious to see who the winners were. Miley Cyrus won her first ever Grammy for her song, “Flowers.” (I am so unhip, I still have not actually listened to that song… but now I probably will.) This was a huge night for Miley, but you know what most people ended up focusing on? Making fun of her hairstyle. Now Miley is no stranger to unique fashion styles, and she frequently gets a lot of flack for it. But instead of changing herself to avoid criticism, she seems to lean even more into emphasizing her uniqueness. And you know what? I admire that.

As I began thinking about my word for 2024, and what kinds of things I wanted to accomplish this upcoming year, one word kept coming to my mind:

UNABASHED

def. “not embarrassed, disconcerted, or ashamed”
“boldly certain of one’s position”

synonyms: unapologetic, confident, proud


Merriam-Webster and Dictionary.com

I chose this word for a few reasons. Over the last year I realized that there was a big part of me that was just trying to “fit in.” I didn’t want to be different, I wanted to blend in with the crowd, and be “like everybody else.”

Isn’t that embarrassing to admit? I thought I was beyond worrying about “being cool” since I’m in my late 30s, but obviously I wasn’t!

Last year I also began noticing people who were unapologetically themselves, and they seemed so happy. It began with my son’s ballet teacher. She does cosplay, and goes ALL OUT for her costumes! It seems like every week, her hair is dyed a different color. She has anime tattoos from her favorite anime show… oh, and she also doesn’t shave her armpits, and totally does not care! After taking my son to ballet week after week, I found myself thinking, “I want to be like her.”

The last 3 years were difficult ones for me – I had been going through grief and depression over infertility, which led to me dealing with a faith crisis and a lot of anger. Honestly, I didn’t feel like myself – or maybe I had forgotten who I really was. I finally just decided I was tired of feeling that way. I wanted to do things that made me happy, and some of those things are probably “weird,” but I didn’t want to feel ashamed about that.

This year, I want to not only accept that I may be unique and weird, I want to relish in that knowledge! I want others to see me, and to be inspired to love themselves as they are.

I want my son to know he does not need to “fit in” or try to be someone he’s not. And I know the most powerful way to get that across, is to be an example of that myself.

Will I risk being made fun of or getting criticized? Of course! That’s why it’s so hard to truly embrace yourself. Some people will love you for it, and some will hate you for it. Just ask Miley 🙂

How the Enneagram Helps You Recognize Your Mental Health Red Flags

Erica2 Comments

I said that the next time I posted, I would talk about some of the things I find helpful when I’m in a mental health slump. But as I thought more about it, I wanted to be sure to first talk more about how to recognize your own mental health red flags. Before you can get help, you have to realize that you need it.

On my resources page, there are two different infographics that can offer some insight regarding this. One is from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) titled My Mental Health: Do I Need Help? The other is from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and is called Common Warning Signs of Mental Illness.

Those infographics are a great place to start, but I also think each person has their own unique red flags and triggers when it comes to mental health issues. And learning what your own unique red flags are will be immensely helpful in making sure you don’t go too far down the path towards a mental health crisis before intervening. 

Another really amazing resource for identifying your own personal red flags is the Enneagram. 

I have found the Enneagram to be an absolutely amazing tool for helping me learn more about myself and try to grow into a healthier version of myself.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Enneagram, I recommend checking out the Enneagram Institute. Essentially, the Enneagram helps you to find your basic personality type out of 9 different options. Once you know your type, you can really start digging in to all the resources the Enneagram has to offer!

Enneagram chart with types listed

Each Enneagram type is associated with a basic set of general traits that describe them, and each type also has unique traits that they exhibit when they are in times of stress (disintegration) and times of growth (integration). 

I am an Enneagram type 1 – which is known as the Reformer (or Perfectionist). When Ones are in a healthy place, their growth arrow moves them towards the healthy traits of a Seven (the Enthusiast), which means they become “more spontaneous and joyful” (often hard for Ones who like having control of all situations.) But when Ones are in a state of stress, or disintegration, their arrow points them towards a Four (the Individualist), which means they might become a bit more “moody, irrational, or dramatic” (some of the less-healthy traits an Enneagram Four might exhibit.)

Over the years, I’ve started paying attention to myself more, and have discovered a few telling signs when I’m under stress. One of the big ones for me is that my tolerance for mess and clutter goes to zero. I like things to be neat and tidy on my best days, but when I’m under stress, every little pile of papers and dirty dish just grates on me like nothing else! So I find myself spending all my free time cleaning, and it’s never good enough. And then I see my family members doing things they enjoy, like playing games or relaxing on the couch, and I start to get angry that no one is helping me with all the chores.

Read More »
DREAM - HOPE - BELIEVE - DARE - RISK - TRY

A Quick Turnaround

EricaLeave a comment

6 weeks ago when I wrote my last post, I was really immersed in disappointment and had no hope that things were going to get better anytime soon.

I’m happy to report that so much has happened since then – and I’m in a much better place.

When I’m in a dark place, sometimes I have a tendency to want to “fix” things, or try taking drastic measures to make things better. One of those drastic things I had thought about doing six weeks ago was quitting my job. I loved the place and the people I worked with, but I didn’t exactly love what my specific role was. I constantly felt like I was failing, and despite being at my job for over four years, I still felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. I was majorly burned out.

I ended up having a meeting with my boss. He knew I was going through some hard stuff. I told him I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing, and that I was honestly thinking of quitting. He asked me what would need to change in order for me to want to stay. I proposed moving to a different department where I felt like I would be better supported and could be successful. I also proposed working less than 40 hours a week – maybe 32, or even 20, hours.

And because my boss is awesome, he was like, “done!”

So, two weeks ago, I officially began working in my new department – with a team of people who are excited to have me and who are teaching me how to do the work that needs to be done. They are patient with me when I ask a million questions, and the work has been good and steady, and surprisingly more meaningful than I thought it would be. I’m also only working four days a week – I now have Fridays off.

The past two weeks I’ve felt like a completely different person from the one who wrote that last post. I am SO much less stressed. The hours pass quickly at work, I love learning how to do new things, and the tasks are challenging me in a good way. I’m feeling successful. I feel like my work matters, and I’m helping more people than I ever was before. I have more energy for my family, and for myself. I started going back to the gym this week. I decided I would start taking a yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I started making green juices for breakfast in the mornings. I’ve been going on more walks with my dog.

Read More »