5 Ways I’m Coping While Waiting for Pregnancy

2020 has been a year that has given us so many reminders of how little control we really have in any situation. We like to pretend that we have our lives totally planned out, that we will be able to do what we want to do when we want to do it.

But then, SURPRISE! Life never works out that way.

Over a year ago, I really thought it was the right time to try for child #2. Literally last December I wrote a post about my decision to try to get pregnant again, and the emotional roller coaster that it had been. I never expected a year later that I would still be writing about attempting to get pregnant – and I really hope a year from now I’m not going to be writing about it anymore!

Each time that you see only a single line on a pregnancy test (or your period starts) is obviously disappointing. Some months it hits me really hard, and others I experience only a mild emotional reaction. I’m intentionally trying to make sure I stay in a healthy mental state as I continue to go through this process.

What does that look like for me? Below I’ll share five ways I’m coping with the waiting and monthly disappointment:

1. Pour my energy into areas where I am making definitive progress

Every month that you don’t get pregnant can feel like a failure. Maybe you didn’t get the timing right… maybe if you were eating better or exercising more… or taking this or that vitamin… You need to have areas in your life where you’re feeling successful and can be proud of what you’re accomplishing. I have two things that I am investing in right now: exercising and writing. After my foot surgery, I wasn’t sure if or when I would be able to run again, but I have been slowly working up to running over the past several months. And it has felt wonderful to watch my body make progress and get stronger! My other activity has been writing – writing daily. Writing is something I easily get lost in, and achieve “flow,” as some would call it. I’ve been waking up early to write every day, and have found a lot of joy in being more disciplined with my writing process.

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Trying To Conceive: An Endless Loop

TTC | TWW | DPO | BBT | BFN | BFP

If any of those acronyms look familiar to you, you may have recently been in the process of trying to conceive (TTC). Being on this journey myself, I will just say hang in there! It can be a difficult and emotionally wrought experience.

Back in summer of 2019, it felt like the right time to start trying for kid #2 (my son had just turned 3). We ended up only trying for three months before we decided to stop since there was a chance I would need foot surgery (I did end up having surgery the following February.)

Fast forward to summer of 2020 – I had mostly recovered from surgery and thought I would be in good enough physical health to begin trying to get pregnant again.

The first month: nothing
Second month: negative pregnancy test
Third month: nope
Fourth month: I really think I’m pregnant, but it turns out I’m not
Fifth month: I’m going to stop wasting money on tests, which was smart because my period came
Sixth month: I caved in and took a test – NEGATIVE

I’m now in my seventh consecutive month of trying to get pregnant, in the middle of the two-week wait (TWW). I’m at the point where I really don’t expect to be pregnant anymore, which is honestly better than when I convinced myself I was pregnant every single cycle. With my first child, it only took two months, and so I guess I assumed it would similarly happen that fast the second time around.

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The Mystery of My Half-Blood Prince: Solved!

Earlier this month I wrote a post about how I had discovered my own version of a Half-Blood Prince in a library book I had checked out titled, Your Life As Story. I had checked out the book because I’m interested in writing my own stories, hopefully to publish as a memoir someday.

What I found inside the book, besides wonderful tips for memoir writing, were clues about the book’s previous owner: Robert J. Hall. As I read, I slowly got to know this man who was nearing the end of his life, and wanted to leave a legacy of his life stories for his children and grandchildren.

In my last post, I said I planned to write a letter to Mr. Hall, and I did just that. I really wasn’t sure if I would get a response or not.

Well, I did get a response – but it was not what I expected at all. I received an email from the current resident of Mr. Hall’s house, saying that sometimes he still receives mail addressed to Mr. Hall, and that “I typically don’t open what appears to plainly be “junk mail”, but your note clearly did not have that appearance.”

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