Category: empathy

Trying To Conceive: An Endless Loop

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TTC | TWW | DPO | BBT | BFN | BFP

If any of those acronyms look familiar to you, you may have recently been in the process of trying to conceive (TTC). Being on this journey myself, I will just say hang in there! It can be a difficult and emotionally wrought experience.

Back in summer of 2019, it felt like the right time to start trying for kid #2 (my son had just turned 3). We ended up only trying for three months before we decided to stop since there was a chance I would need foot surgery (I did end up having surgery the following February.)

Fast forward to summer of 2020 – I had mostly recovered from surgery and thought I would be in good enough physical health to begin trying to get pregnant again.

The first month: nothing
Second month: negative pregnancy test
Third month: nope
Fourth month: I really think I’m pregnant, but it turns out I’m not
Fifth month: I’m going to stop wasting money on tests, which was smart because my period came
Sixth month: I caved in and took a test – NEGATIVE

I’m now in my seventh consecutive month of trying to get pregnant, in the middle of the two-week wait (TWW). I’m at the point where I really don’t expect to be pregnant anymore, which is honestly better than when I convinced myself I was pregnant every single cycle. With my first child, it only took two months, and so I guess I assumed it would similarly happen that fast the second time around.

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The Mystery of My Half-Blood Prince: Solved!

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Earlier this month I wrote a post about how I had discovered my own version of a Half-Blood Prince in a library book I had checked out titled, Your Life As Story. I had checked out the book because I’m interested in writing my own stories, hopefully to publish as a memoir someday.

What I found inside the book, besides wonderful tips for memoir writing, were clues about the book’s previous owner: Robert J. Hall. As I read, I slowly got to know this man who was nearing the end of his life, and wanted to leave a legacy of his life stories for his children and grandchildren.

Notes and annotations written by Robert J. Hall

In my last post, I said I planned to write a letter to Mr. Hall, and I did just that. I really wasn’t sure if I would get a response or not.

Well, I did get a response – but it was not what I expected at all. I received an email from the current resident of Mr. Hall’s house, saying that sometimes he still receives mail addressed to Mr. Hall, and that “I typically don’t open what appears to plainly be “junk mail”, but your note clearly did not have that appearance.”

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Improving Relationships with Others through the Enneagram

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This will be my final post about the Enneagram, rounding out a short three-part series. In my first post, I described how the Enneagram helped me understand myself better and fostered self-growth, after I figured out and accepted that I was a Type One. My second post shared how the Enneagram helped me appreciate my spouse more and navigate conflicts better in my marriage. 

This post will talk about how the Enneagram can improve your relationships with everyone else: coworkers, friends, family… anyone. 

After learning what another person’s Enneagram type is, I can begin to understand why they would think and act the way that they do (which is crucial if they think and act differently than me!) It’s easy to judge the actions of other people when they don’t line up with what we think we would do in a situation. We often assume the worst about others: they are simply being inconsiderate, they haven’t thought it through, they’re living in ignorance…

Instead of immediately judging others for doing things differently (I’m looking at you fellow Ones!) we can ask ourselves questions like:

What would motivate a person to do that or act like that?

Why is a particular issue so important to them?

What internal struggles could this person be facing at this moment that might be influencing their actions?

Motivation is a huge component of fully understanding the Enneagram. Two different types on the Enneagram could perform an identical action for very different reasons. This is why you aren’t supposed to identify another person’s type for them – only they will truly know their own motivation for doing or not doing something.

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