book covers

Erica’s Favorite Reads – 2021

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I hope the post title isn’t misleading: these are the top books I read in 2021, not just books that were published in 2021. I wasn’t quite sure how to convey that concisely in my title.

I generally gravitate towards nonfiction and self-help books – I have been on a big personal growth kick for like the past 5 years! However, this year I tried to challenge myself to read some fiction this as well, thanks to some recommendations from one of my best friends.

I read about 30 books total this year, which is a number I’m proud of. (Honestly, no matter what your number is, you can be proud of it!) I use Goodreads to keep track of everything I’ve read. You can find me on there if you want to see my entire reading list for 2021.

Two years ago I published a post of my favorite books for 2019, but I never posted my list for 2020. As I was trying to figure out why, I realized (with the help of Goodreads stats) that I read far fewer books in 2020 (hello pandemic!) Obviously we all had a lot going on in 2020… I’m glad to have been privileged to have time to be a more avid reader this year.

The Great Sex Rescue book

The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended
Nonfiction, Marriage, Christian

This book is the only book I have ever taken time to write a review for on Goodreads because I thought it was so good! I want to write an entire post on this book alone, but for now, I’ll share what I wrote on Goodreads:

I found this book to be very validating to my experiences. It was nice to be able to have it be so well articulated by someone. I appreciate how the authors took a critical look at what many other Christian books on marriage and sex are saying, and spelled out how certain messages could actually be harmful to women, and not even really what the Bible intended. I wish this book had been written years ago before I had gotten married, I wish it had been around when I started dating. I think it offers one of the healthiest perspectives on Christian marriage and sex I’ve read in a long time.

Frientimacy book

Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology

I am not even finished with this book, but it has already made it to my list of top books for 2021! I am reading this with a coworker, and each week we read a chapter and then discuss it. This book takes a look at friendships and describes our basic need for being fully known and loved for who we are. It gives suggestions for ways to “close the intimacy gap” with friends by determining what areas of your relationship you need to invest in. The author states that each relationship needs 3 elements to be mutually shared in order to have a deep level of friendship: positivity, consistency, and vulnerability.

My one qualm with this book is that it is solely about female friendships – which I think is a shame because men need healthy friendships too, and I’m sure it would be off-putting to many men to read it when it is so geared towards women. However, many of the principles can be easily adapted for other types of relationships, and honestly it is really good information. If you’re a psychology nerd like me, you will find this book interesting!

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thank you card

Excessive Peace

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In the book of Philippians, it mentions a “peace that surpasses all understanding…” It’s in the context of praying to God as an alternative to worrying about things. This is in the even larger context of being thankful and full of joy in the Lord.

I am often a worrier. In a less negative connotation, I like to plan ahead and be prepared. This is to avoid unnecessary surprises, which can cause me anxiety. I am great at thinking ahead and preparing for the worst.

But all the worrying and planning in the world doesn’t always change things – it simply gives us this false sense that we are in control when we’re not.

In a recent post, I described how my husband and I have been trying unsuccessfully to have a second child for about a year and a half. At the time of writing it, I felt very hopeless, sad, and even somewhat angry. Achieving pregnancy consumed my thoughts a lot of the time.

Since writing it, we got back some test results that were not ideal. Basically what they revealed was that any quick or “easy” fixes (like surgery to correct a problem, for example) were off the table. Our doctor offered us one last option before referring us to try IVF/IUI – but to me, it felt like a last-ditch effort.

After that appointment, I felt like the answer from God as to whether I would ever get pregnant again was a resounding, “no.” And yes, I know logically that there is still a chance, and we’re still trying this last option, but my mind literally began to process it as if it would never happen. I felt myself for the next few days beginning to go through the process of grieving. It was surprising because my husband and I haven’t totally given up yet, but it’s like my mind and body decided it was time to move on. Maybe this was my body’s way of trying to protect myself.

I didn’t fight what my body wanted to do, I just tried to be mindful of my feelings. For a week or two, it was emotional as I processed the fact that I probably wouldn’t have any more children. But what was even more surprising, was the day when it suddenly didn’t feel that hard anymore.

I found myself feeling more and more content with my life. I started paying more attention to Calvin and found myself becoming more appreciative of everything he has added to our lives. I just began to feel really blessed to be a family of 3 – period, full stop.

It felt like the grief was just gone, as was the painful obsession of longing to be pregnant again. (That’s not to say we wouldn’t be thrilled if I did get pregnant, but that intense pain seemed to be gone.)

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family picture Marvel costumes

Behind the Scenes: Easy DIY Marvel Photoshoot 2021

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On Sunday my family and I did a makeshift photoshoot in downtown Abilene in our Halloween costumes. I say makeshift because we used only our Google Pixel 4a phones as cameras – and the photographers were myself, my husband, and my 5-year-old son (for a few pictures!) All that to say we are NOT professionals!

But our photos turned out amazing! I couldn’t believe how awesome they looked – I even had a few people ask who we hired to take our pictures! – so I thought I’d go into a bit more detail of how we got some of the shots.

First off, COSTUMES!

We are not professional cosplayers – I bought the Spiderman and Captain American costume off of Amazon. I spent about $35 for the Spiderman costume and $75 for the Captain America costume. My costume did not come with a shield, so I found a cheap plastic kid’s version for about $20 (it’s only about 12 inches in diameter). Dean used a suit and tie he already had for his Loki variant costume, but ended up buying a green vest and the Loki horns, which together were about $50. I made his “Loki for President” button by finding an image online and then using a 2″ button maker in the ACU Library Maker Lab. (Buttons are 5 for $1).

I tried to find some black boots to go with my costume at Goodwill, but the ones I found ended up being too big around my calves, so I opted to just wear black sneakers. You’ll notice Calvin is also wearing his usual Baby Shark tennis shoes in the shots. We could have spent more money and ordered shoes that looked better, but we decided it was good enough!

Overall we spent close to $200 on costumes. Since this was our only expense for this photoshoot, we decided this was a reasonable amount.

Next, CAMERAS!

Dean and I both have Google Pixel phones. Part of why we got them was for the quality of photos they can take. Plus, they have a ton of storage space, so you can take tons of photos until you get exactly the right shot. We also loved using the “portrait mode” to get some great shots – this is a pretty standard feature for most phones.

If you have a smart phone that has come out in the last few years, chances are it will be good enough to get some great pics!

TIME AND LOCATION

We knew we wanted to take photos either at dusk or dawn, since the lighting is the best at those times – and we all promised we would wake up early on Sunday morning to be ready to leave at 7:30am. (Sunrise was around 7:55am CDT.) We also were hoping that downtown would be pretty empty, and it totally was! Now depending on where you live, you may not get lucky to have an entire downtown scene to yourself (perks of living in a small-ish town!) It was also cooler weather, about 50 degrees, so it was a little colder than most would find comfortable (at least here in west Texas) which helped make sure people were staying inside.

I personally LOVE downtown Abilene. And for a Marvel superhero photoshoot, it was a perfect venue for pictures! There were plenty of alleys and brick buildings that ended up being great backgrounds in our photos!

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